Saturday, July 10, 2010

black sheep in the family


I think every family has one black sheep in the family... including me... is not I'm the naughty daughter... It just that I always make trouble or not prefect in my parent's eyes... especially my mother...

When I with her, I can't look up to myself and always think the negative of myself... Anywhere anytime even outside with her friends.. she never says something good about me... If I with my younger sister, she will said she is good with this that and same like herself... If my sister not around with me and just with me, she will said " Jie Jie from small already knew how to look after herself, she is very responsible, very good at this and that...."

Do anyone think that I can look up at myself?? Sometimes think about this it make me so negatively... I cant stand this... I know I should do something so my mother can look up at me... but I'm not that strong... After came back from Perth, I wish time just go by so I can go Perth... That place is my Next new journey... Make a new life over there and become a better person... Over there make me so relax and can stop thinking about myself negatively and from my mother saying things I don't like to hear...

Is not that I don't appreciate my mother, I still love her and I want to thank to her for taking care of me til now... She just don't understand me and know what I need the most... Yes I don't tell her and communicate with her... For me is so hard to communicate with her, she will win against me because she always thinks she is the right and is the best decision for me, so many things I said is no use and I just follow my mother.. Maybe she is right and I am wrong, so I don't want against it..

Sometimes I did make trouble for my parents, I know is wrong I admit... But do my mother have to say something hurt like I don't know where is my mistakes... What I mean is I did it on purpose.. I know is my fault that cause trouble for them.. and I will do it right again... for me to say that maybe anything can solve but not the one it will go so well or in the short time.. At least can solve it...

Okay I have stop here... I just wish everything will go well with my problem and with my mother... Pray for me and I pray for myself... thanks for reading...

2 comments:

  1. U got to prove to ur mum that u can be successful in career or study....it's nice not toattach too long at home, look for more time outside home and concentrate all ur effort on pursuing ur dream

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  2. hey u check out my blog... hahaha... hmm.. ya i know.. but is not that easy... my dream yes.. i will concentrate n study hard.. thanks..

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